He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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