high people should be assigned attendants
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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