Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
