your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
