I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
