tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
