sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
