Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
