i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
