She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
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