Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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