He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
