I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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