did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
