it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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