my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
