i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
