if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
