he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
