I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
