I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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