So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
