I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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