is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
