Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
