Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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