hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
