I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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