Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
