So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
