Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
