I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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