it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
