we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
