you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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