i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Randomize
