What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Actions speak louder than pants.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
