all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
