grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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