4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
