it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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