I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
