if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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