is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
