For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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