Come see our sink grown plant.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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