Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
