Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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