Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
