good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
