oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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