So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Never joke about your clitoris.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
