hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
two words...techno handjob
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
