We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
