she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
