he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
